Hot Sauce Samurai
Friday, November 18, 2005
Iron Chef Comes To SLOW BurnThe Food Network came to Steinbeck Plaza this week and spent five hours filming Bobby Flay barbecuing sardines and mussels exactly fifteen feet from SLOW Burn so that the store should be clearly visible in every shot! They made us turn off Homer and remove his PETA apron (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.) Well. They didn't hold a gun to our heads or anything. They asked us nicely; I sensed invisible muscle, so I complied.
Sardines and mussels, it should be noted, have not played a prominent role in the local marine ecology for many years but they're what Monterey was famous for, back in the day. And Bobby Flay only spent an hour posing in front of the grill. As far as I could see, he did no actual cooking.
Then he came into the store. Trailing his entourage.
He stopped when he saw a bottle of Matouk's West Indian Flambeau on the Caribbean shelf. "You got their Calypso and their Hot Pepper sauce?"
"Of course," I said.
"Matouk's is the best sauce ever," said Bobby Flay. He picked up a bottle of Busha Browne's Puka sauce. "This any good?"
"It's great," I said. "But it's Walkerswood under a different label."
Bobby Flay nodded sagely. "You know your stuff." He made a big, sweeping hand gesture. "This is a very cool store."
And then he turned around -- his entourage making scuttling motions like tugboats -- and walked out. Without buying anything.
What is it about these [insert colorful Deadwood epitet here] celebrities? Would it've hurt Bobby Flay to spring for a $7 bottle of Marie Sharp's? God knows those poor sardines and mussels, who were now beating Joan of Arc's record on the barbecue rack, would have greatly benefited.
